Tantrums in Children: Why They Happen and How Parents Can Respond Calmly

Every parent has faced it: the dreaded tantrum. Whether it’s in the middle of the grocery store, right before bedtime, or just as you’re rushing out the door, tantrums can feel overwhelming.

You might wonder: Why does my child throw tantrums? What am I doing wrong? How can I stop them?

The truth is, tantrums are a normal part of childhood development. They’re not signs of “bad kids” or “bad parenting.” What matters most is learning to understand the cause — and finding calmer, more effective ways to respond.

Why Do Children Have Tantrums?

Tantrums are often a child’s way of communicating big feelings they can’t yet express in words. Some common triggers include:

• Daily routines being disrupted: Skipping naps or meals can quickly lead to meltdowns.

• Overstimulation: Busy environments, screens, or sudden changes in plans can overwhelm young children.

• Big emotions: Frustration, sadness, or a simple “no” can feel unmanageable when a child doesn’t yet have coping skills.

• Parental stress: Children often pick up on our energy. If we’re rushed or stressed, they can mirror that in explosive ways.

Understanding Your Child’s Tantrums

When I support parents, one of the first things I encourage is a shift in perspective: tantrums are not “bad behavior” — they’re signals.

Your child may not be able to say: “I’m tired,” or “I need attention.” Instead, their body does the talking. When you begin to see tantrums as communication, it opens the door to empathy instead of frustration.

How Parents Can Respond to Tantrums

Of course, understanding tantrums is only half the story. The other half is how you, as the parent, respond.

When a tantrum starts, it’s natural to feel your own stress rise. Many parents find themselves yelling, threatening, or giving in — and then feeling guilty afterwards. But here’s the good news: you can learn to respond differently.

When I work with families, I guide parents through:

• Identifying triggers in the daily routine

• Understanding what’s happening in your body when a tantrum starts

• Finding calmer, more consistent ways to react that lower stress for both you and your child

It’s not about “fixing” your child — it’s about creating a calmer, more connected dynamic that reduces tantrums over time.

You Don’t Have to Face Tantrums Alone

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to tantrums. Every child, family, and situation is different. That’s why my work is collaborative — together, we look at what’s driving your child’s tantrums and create strategies that fit your life.

When parents begin to notice patterns, respond with calm, and adjust routines, children feel more understood. And the result is powerful: fewer meltdowns, more connection, and more confidence for both parent and child.

Parenting takeaway: Tantrums don’t mean you’re failing. They’re your child’s way of saying, “I need help managing my big feelings.

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Hi, I'm Maya. I’m a certified Positive Parenting (Adlerian) Educator & Guide, founder of Uplifting Parenting. I support parents all over the world, helping to navigate power struggles, reduce yelling, and foster deep family connection.

My mission is simple: Help parents feel uplifted, not overwhelmed.

Learn more about my unique approach and qualifications here.